Can depression be made up?

Everyone says Im just looking for a happy pill. My ex complained about me whining and trying to get everyones attention so they can pity me. The lack of others' understanding helps none. My mom says im looking for answers in all the wrong places. pills and significant others. But she doesnt feel my pain. Im on the verge of figuring some part of me out. I have taken every ssri antidepressant. The symptoms are clear. Hopeless. Lost. Out of it. But am I even depressed? Numerous doctors say that I am, so Im not sure who to believe or trust anymore. This damn answers thread is where I run when nobody can help. Am I overdoing it? They say I should do something. Keep me occupied. Too much time on my hands. Which I know isnt good. I dont appreciate anything. I feel like everybody overloads me. Im somewhat saddet now cause my boyfriend left me after me used me. But this seems to always happen. You may judge me. :/ Does anybody understand? Anybody at all? Please.. I cant find any answers. What is wrong with me?